My name is Scott Booker, and at the age of 44 my life started spinning out of control. Literally! I was driving to work one day, when all of a sudden everything around me started spinning in my head, I got extremely dizzy and I felt like I was going to vomit and pass out. Somehow, I managed to get my car off to the side of the road without having a major accident. Once I got to the side of the road, I opened up the car door and threw up; my head still spinning. I had no idea what was happening.
It is now 8 months later and my life has changed drastically. Although it took a very long time (more details about that later), I was finally diagnosed with Ménière’s Disease.
Meniere’s disease is a disorder of the inner ear that causes episodes in which you feel as if you’re spinning (vertigo), and you have fluctuating hearing loss with a progressive, ultimately permanent loss of hearing, ringing in the ear (tinnitus), and sometimes a feeling of fullness or pressure in your ear.
That is the definition that Doctors give those of us suffering with this debilitating illness. The above definition does not even begin to explain what having Meniere’s is like.
So, I have started documenting everything about my journey with Meniere’s and I am putting it into a book so that others may benefit from my story.
One of the items not listed in the definition above, is that you are constantly dizzy. You often times stumble around, unable to get your bearings, find your footing, run into walls or even have drop attacks (which I will discuss more later as well). One thing that I strive to do is to maintain my sanity and sense of humor, so I like to call all of this “Having the Woozy Wobbles.”
So, the name of my book is going to be called “The Woozy Wobbles – My Journey With Ménière’s Disease. Sense I am still struggling to even function on a daily basis, this book may take awhile to get done, but my mind is made up and I am determined to never lose hope and to always keep fighting.
Right now….this is my wife’s favorite picture of me! She thinks it is absolutely adorable.
I wouldn’t disagree….except for the fact that I was having a really bad vertigo attack at the time.
Now…you may be wondering about the caps…and maybe about the stuffed Panda.
First…the Panda. His name is Alex. Alex belonged to my wife René before we met. After we got together…Alex became mine. Nuff said.
Now…the caps. When I am having a really bad attack…I like to have a cap on over my ears. It helps. It keeps them warm…keeps out weird noises…..keeps out air….keeps out other things that tend to bother me when I am having vertigo. So why is Alex wearing one too?
Well…sometimes I toss and turn….and mine falls off. So….if I put one on Alex…I know that if I wake up and mine is MIA…I can grab his and have a spare handy.
See…makes total sense…doesn’t it??
Every Now And Then….I Have To Remind Myself Of This…
Clouding of consciousness, also known as brain fog or mental fog, is a term used in medicine denoting an abnormality in the regulation of the overall level of consciousness that is mild and less severe than a delirium. The sufferer experiences a subjective sensation of mental clouding described as feeling “foggy”.
For me…this is one the absolute worst symptoms of Meniere’s Disease. I saw this quote from someone that has this the other day. “I also noticed at work… I don’t even look anyone in the eye, and when someone talks to me, I barely understand what they’re saying. I just want to be alone so I don’t have to interact with anyone.”
This is what Brain Fog does. It messes with your mind to the point that you just don’t want to be around people. That you just don’t want to have to think. That you aren’t asked any questions. That you don’t have to speak. That you don’t want to forget the important things in your life. That you just don’t want to….live.
Think about that for a second.
Sometimes it is really hard for people with Chronic Illnesses to accept all the feelings that they are having! And sometimes…it is hard for those who love and support people with Chronic Illnesses to accept them as well.
Just remember…It’s Perfectly Okay!! FEELINGS MAKE YOU HUMAN!
This past week-end, I was at Mom’s house visiting when I had another vertigo attack. I quickly laid down on the floor to let see if I could get it to pass.
While I was there…the neighborhood cat that Mom has named Jezzie and lets in the house every now and then, decided to lay down with me.
Mom was able to capture this cute picture of the moment.